Fears

I bet every single one of us has a story to tell about an irrational fear we had as a kid.  I had a lot of them.

Let's see -- afraid of the dark.  Might have stemmed from several different things.  The first might have been the tornado that hit in around 1955 or 1956 and destroyed a lot of property in Lakewood and created a big blow in my neighborhood.  It hit at around 9:00 p.m. at night. The second might have been watching "The Fly," a movie about a scientist who gets into a sort of time machine with a fly and comes out half human-half fly.  Sounds stupid, doesn't it?  But for some reason it just freaked me out and made me think that the morphed scientist was hiding in my closet.

Afraid of the mixer.  I was messing around when my mother was making a box cake one day and kind of flipped my finger as the beaters were going around.  Well, I guess I got too close and two fingers got pulled in and intertwined.  But not broken.  Just needed stitches from the nasty gash on the top of my left index finger; the scar is still visible.  Then my mother somehow did the same thing a few months later and needed stitches as well. 

Afraid of dogs.  Still am.  The neighbor had an Irish Setter and it just wanted to play but it would come bounding over and jump on my back and that kind of thing.  Plus, my friend's dog nipped at people and bit me one day.

Afraid of heights.  Still am.  If I left work and headed out to the third floor elevator and looked down to the atrium floor, it bothered me.  It bothered me a lot more if I was on the fourth floor and did the same thing!  Niagara Falls kind of messed with my head too. 

And yet, with all of those fears, I somehow managed to go to a Girl Scout day camp, went on Girl Scout overnight trips, and took swimming lessons at Baldwin Wallace College.  On one Girl Scout hike, I ended up trying to go down an embankment and fell, rolling over and over and ending up at the base of a sapling.  That was the end of that event for me.  It was like my worst fears materialized.

As the years have gone by, it isn't that I still don't have fears, because I am sure I do -- but I'm a lot calmer and steadier.  I'll give credit to my relationship with God, because it was that faith that made me let go and let God instead of trying to control everything.  When I hear about people with a really bad fear these days, I have a lot of empathy for them.  A strong fear can be so paralyzing and can just take over a life.

Another thing that helped me besides my faith is talking about my fears, seeing that I was hardly alone and that others have those same sorts of feelings.

Fear is only a real problem when it interferes with normal life experiences.  Fear can produce anxiety and that leads to avoidance and depression, or at least that's how I see it.

Take care.  I'm writing this early because today is going to be a little crazy.  Talk to you on Tuesday then.  Have a great weekend!!!