Balancing Act

When I was a kid, nothing much seemed to be going right for me.  For one thing, I thought that when God handed out brains He kind of ran out for my turn.

There were lots of really upsetting and disappointing things that happened at school during the elementary school years, and very little of it did I ever share with anyone.  In fact, almost nothing.  My older brother and two older sisters were doing pretty well.  My younger brother didn't seem to have the problems that I had in school.

When my mother said she was going in for conferences, I always winced.  I had no idea what she would hear about me, but I was always afraid that it would be bad.  When she returned she almost always said the same thing, "Mrs. ____ says that you daydream a lot."

So maybe you are starting to get the drift of things.  A kid with undiagnosed ADD and lots of fears about school doesn't add up to a good situation.  When things got really bad for me, I'd play sick.  It usually worked and even the thought of having to stay in my room all day didn't bother me one little bit.  I didn't care about missing the school work or about missing the kids in my class.  In all honesty, I was a bit ambivalent about the kids in my class.  I liked them a lot but it never felt reciprocated.

When it came time to choose up sides for some kind of game at school, like maybe a class spelling bee, I winced again.  Because the way we did it, the teacher named two team leaders and then each of them picked kids from the class by alternating.  I knew that I would be last every single time, and oh what a terrible feeling it is to be the last one sitting when all of the kids are lined up on the sides of the room.  And every eye is on YOU.

By this time, I was horribly nervous and insecure, and figured that my classmates already knew that I didn't have a working brain.  Why else would I be chosen last every time?  So when it was my turn in the first round to spell a word, I usually got it wrong.  Or that's my memory of it.  And I'd be one of the first sitting again.  They probably started with the last ones chosen.

Now, we could talk about the teacher's own lack of understanding and wisdom at this point, because you'd think that after a while they could come up with something a little more fair.  But the damage was done by that time.

By sixth grade my grades had come up for some unexplainable reason.  Our teacher in sixth grade was probably my favorite.  She was very old for one thing, and so maybe she was more in tune to feelings and fairness.  I don't know but the better grades bolstered my confidence a little bit

Then came a few triumphs in short order.

The first was a luau that we had at one girl's house.  I think it was only for girls, and it must have been someone's birthday.  The mom made this bowl out of watermelon rind and it was filled with ripe cantaloupe and watermelon, but there was another unbelievable treat.  Fresh coconut.  I'd never tasted it before and it was absolutely delicious!!  Now that I think about it, I think the party was at Barbara's house.

Then came the games.  And I was probably a little worried by this time again.  They had table knives but maybe a tad wider and four dried beans I think it was.  You had to go the length of the back yard balancing the beans on the knife and once to the other side pass it off to the next person.  Something magical happened.  Apparently, I had a skill -- balancing.  The beans stayed on the knife the whole time, no matter what.  Beans were falling all over the place but I was a steady as could be, and won a pretty little bracelet and necklace set to boot.

I can remember exactly what it looked like, in fact.

THEN, we had our sixth grade party and once again, it was game time.  Two leaders were named and again, they chose classmates one by one.  And of course, I was the last one again.  But they brought out the knifes again and this time sliced potatoes!  It was win or lose.  I was the last one with the potato on the knife and it was up to me to bring it home.  It was close but my opponent lost the potato and had to retrieve it, and I kept on going and going and going.  My team was cheering for me!! We won!!!

Everyone was congratulating me and the team leader must have been surprised.  The loser became the winner for once, and I knew for a fact that I had a talent better than most.

Years later I heard a wise person talking about grandparents and what their role is.  Grandparents, the person said, have the time and patience to really watch their grandchildren, and by doing so, they can identify gifts and talents that others might overlook.  A gift or a talent that makes that child perform better than most people in some area.

All I can tell you is that balancing was something that saved my self-esteem and let me start seventh grade with a little dignity!  Give your grandchildren that gift of telling them about something they do well.  It pays such dividends and it is so easy!!