Sibling Rivalry

One of the most common things in families, and something that we more than often laugh about, is sibling rivalry.  It is pretty much pervasive.  Entire books have been written about it, and everyone has a theory about how to handle the new baby and the "big" brother or sister waiting at home.  And yet, no matter what, it materializes at some point.  And it LASTS!!!  That's what we don't talk about.  The lasting.

I have seen a few cases where the rivalry does not seem to be there at all.  In that case, either the mom knew much more than most, or she just lucked out.  I do know that our rides in our Chevy Astro van were often punctuated by the sound of leg slapping in the back seat for a long, long time.  And my husband and I wondered at what age it would finally stop.

There isn't anyone who knows the weaknesses of another better than siblings.  They have just about memorized their brothers or sisters, and in some cases might actually have figured them out better than mom and dad have.  There are always stories that get mentioned that underscore all of this.

In our household it is definitely the walk to Lock IV Park.  I took my sons there on occasion, and when the little one was really small, I worried about him tripping on the rough towpath terrain and falling into the murky canal.  So I purchased for $.25 a harness leash for him at the neighbor's garage sale.  Most of the time I held the "reins," but once in a while his older brother did too.  And I happened to take a picture of this, to the absolute delight of the older son who loves to bring it up at times.

The story of the prodigal son is certainly peppered with sibling rivalry.  About a month ago, when the gospel reading about the prodigal son was our gospel reading at Mass, a Deacon from Portland, WA visited with us.  He was a dynamic and interesting speaker.  Let me tell you about his story.

He was a very driven and intelligent child.  He became an Eagle Scout.  He had never been in any real trouble.  He had been a credit to his mother and father his whole life.  At one point during college, he was offered a full scholarship to study theology in Rome, Italy.  All he had to come up with was airfare.  At the time he did not have the funds, so he asked his mother, and she agreed to pay for the tickets.  About three days before he was to buy his tickets, his mother called and said he would need to return the money to her.  His younger brother had gotten in some trouble and his dad was going to bail him out.  The situation was dire, as he would also lose custody of one of his children if something wasn't done.

This older brother was irate.  He told his mother that he had been a good kid; he had been the Eagle Scout; he had obeyed the laws; he had gone to college, and now he had been given this unbelievable opportunity.  His brother was always getting in trouble.  He had three children by three different women, and wasn't supporting any of them.  Why not let his brother stew in his juices for a while?  It might be good for him, he told his mother.  She disagreed and requested the money back.

His brother was bailed out and never thanked the brother who gave up a trip to Rome.

A little while back, the older brother's 20th high school reunion was coming.  He was returning to New Jersey for this event, and his brother called to ask him to stay with him.  In fact, he insisted.  So the older brother arrived at his brother's house, and noted that he had purchased a brand new bed for him, offered him the keys to his car to go wherever he needed, and during the stay, got up early to make him a very nice breakfast.  They watched movies at night until late and talked and talked.  The younger brother was fully supporting his three children and had remained single.  He had a house and a good job.

Finally, the older brother had to ask -- "What was the turning point in your life?  What started these changes?"

"When you had to give up your studies in Rome," the brother answered.  "I knew I had to make it worth it." 

A real life prodigal son story, don't you think? 

One other point -- so often while we are still worrying about whether mom and dad care more about this one than that one, the more important thing to know is that God loves ALL of us.