Quick, quick

To my loyal readers -- I apologize.  This posting was ready to go Wednesday morning, but I forgot to "publish."  So here is Wednesday's column on Thursday instead. 

This is going to be really quick today.  I'm off to help Ella get ready for her day camp this morning, meaning I have to leave the house at around 6:20 a.m.

Have you seen that lady on TV peddling Angie's List.  She says she's, "Busy, busy, busy."  Well, who isn't?  Who goes around bragging, "I'm bored out of my mind and have nothing to do in life."  That's kind of like saying, "I'm a loser."

But being "busy" shouldn't necessarily be our goal.  It's what we do with the time that we have that matters.  Sometimes being busy means we are totally consumed with ourselves, what we want to do, what we want to buy, where we want to go.  Sometimes being busy means that we escape from the obvious problems that need to be faced.

I used to love it when all of the books talked about parenting and then mentioned "quality time."  Well, what on earth does that mean?  If you are never at home or rarely there because you are, "busy, busy, busy," then what?  Do you kids get to have a time scheduled in your appointment book?

Because I worked and had to be away from home far more than I wanted, I did absolutely nothing after work.  It was such a habit to get out of there and rush home that for years after the boys were gone, I kept doing the same.  Once home, I stayed home.  We have a nice open kitchen with a counter.  If anyone wanted to talk or share, and I was cooking supper, they could visit with me for as long as they wanted.  If either of them needed help with a project or homework, I was home all evening -- and almost all weekend too.

Quality time is anytime.  It's whenever your kids want to talk or maybe on the other hand when you really need to talk to them about something important.  The true way to take advantage of time with children is to really listen to what they have to say.  Don't interrupt.  Just listen and let them express themselves.  And one of the best ways to get their attention about the important lessons is to use humor.  Tell a story as an example.  A good one.

It's what I always thought anyhow, and then one time in a magazine there was an article about using humor in parenting.  It should really come naturally though -- and come from the heart.  Being able to laugh at yourself is a good start, and then that shows children that grownups make mistakes too and "fessing" up isn't so bad.

Now that my parenting days are done, I don't have too many regrets.  Oh, there are a few here and there, but I gave it my all or most of it.  And now that I can take a nap when I'm tired as opposed to so many years when I couldn't, I can't because then it messes up the night's sleep.  Go figure.