All or nothing

One of the quickest ways to get into an argument about a topic is to say something like this, "You ALWAYS forget to _____."    "You do that every single time."  "This group, _____, is ALL about ______."

The all or nothing comments are generalized to the point that they can't stand on fact.  They show insensitivity, judgment, and a level of frustration that is never good for getting along.  We see a lot of that today.  Attack, attack, attack -- with words.  Make a generalized statement that is all encompassing and attach it to someone or a group, and there you go.

When I went to a Marriage Encounter weekend years and years ago, we learned about how to discuss feelings, for one thing.  We learned that if you can say, "I feel ...," but you could just as easily substitute, "I think ...," then you aren't talking about your feelings at all.  These statements again get people into trouble, especially married couples.

We learned that feelings in and of themselves are not right or wrong.  But what we do with feelings can definitely be right or wrong. 

In the political arena, there is a lot of the "all or nothing," types of comments going on.  Aren't you getting sick of it?  Don't you wonder sometimes if all of these crises play into the hands of people who don't really care about the U.S. the way they should?  Well, I know that I wonder.

Here is one technique that I've learned over the past couple of years.  Listen to the structure of the sentence that is being used.  Analyze it, rather than reacting to the content.  You will see a pattern after a while, and that is helpful in getting through all of the muddied water to the clear.

There are also certain buzz words or phrases, subject matter and discussion points that do the same thing -- press our buttons on issues that bring us to anger.  Analyze them.  You'll soon see a pattern and that diffuses anger into something more constructive.

A couple of the things that make understanding such complicated subjects as the Middle East is their organization, their culture.  I'm going to do a little research for tomorrow so I can tell you what some of the most common words that are that describe groups in the Middle East and then maybe things will make more sense.  What is going on there is really a civil war in Iraq -- between Sunnis and Shiites, with Kurds thrown in for good measure.  They absolutely hate each other and it's been going on for centuries.  The election of al Malaki who is a Shiite, has long been a thorn in the side of the Sunnis who felt left out of the election and the subsequent decisions made in favor of Shiites. 

Then this ISIS group that was thought to have been more or less wiped up reappears on the scene and goes after the weak Iraqi forces, taking the weaponry that we furnished, stealing billions from the banks, and even trying to get into a closed chemical weapons plant that was sealed 20 years ago. 

The people must be scared to death but in most cases they probably aren't armed.

Well, tomorrow we'll do a little more of this and see where it goes. 

By the way, I saw a guy on TV last night who talked about some of the crises that the U.S. faces right now.  He mentioned how little coverage they are getting in the lame stream media.  If you want to get a more fair and balanced view, try Fox.  For example, did you know that the emails sent from Lois Lerner to people at the IRS, the White House, and members of Congress are missing -- allegedly destroyed by a virus?  If you haven't heard that one, there is a good reason.  The lame stream media in total only covered it in one program for about 15 seconds over a period of a couple of days.

We'll talk again tomorrow.